Caution: This post contains high levels of snarkiness.

If you search pinterest for anything related to pregnancy, you find lists from moms about “essential” items for different parts of the childbirth process.  I have seen a myriad of lists about what needs to be in your hospital bag for labor, and another several about what sorts of things you must have before the baby is born.  I have decided to be very bold and create my own lists.  I don’t necessarily think I am THE expert on pregnancy and childbirth. But I have had two children, and am currently pregnant, so I’m probably just as qualified as many who submit lists. And so, here are my two lists.

Elisabeth’s List of Labor/Delivery Essentials

• Nothing.

I have nothing to put on this list, and I’ll tell you why.  If you spontaneously go into labor in the middle of the night 6+ weeks before your baby is due (not that I have any experience with that…) and you walk into the ER in your pajamas to find out 20 minutes later that you are going to have a baby before you had planned on waking up for school the next morning, and thus have essentially NOTHING with you, your baby will still be born.  You don’t need a cute hospital gown, you don’t need post delivery clothes, you don’t need your toothbrush, you don’t need to have diapers or an outfit for your baby. You can have absolutely nothing with you, and your baby will still be born. And you will still love her.

That being said, it is really nice to have a lot of things packed! The more you have prepared for your hospital time, the less running around you have to do after the baby is born. But if labor catches you unawares, your baby will still be born, and you will be okay! You can send your husband home for your toothbrush and underwear and clothes and whatever else you realize you would really like. If you are experiencing  labor without your husband (like my amazing friend who had put her husband on a plane the morning before she went into labor), then I’m the wrong one to give you advice. But I will pray for you!

So, there are a lot of really nice things to have packed and ready to go before you go to the hospital to have a baby. But as far as absolute essentials, your baby will be born even if you have nothing.

For my second list:

Elisabeth’s List of Essential Baby Items to Have Before the Baby is Born

• Nothing.

If you have a baby and you don’t have so much as a diaper prepared. Your baby will still be born and you will be okay.  You can again send your husband out and tell him to at least buy a carseat so that you can take your new bundle of joy home with you. (I think they would probably let you take a baby home without a blanket, but they would NOT let you take it home without a carseat.)

Again, there are lots of things that would be nice to have before you give birth–like some baby clothes, a bed for the baby, some blankets, and a decent supply of diapers–but if you don’t have any of it, you will be okay. Your baby will still be born, and you will still love it just as much as if you had every baby item you ever saw online!

 

So, obviously this post wasn’t meant to be all that helpful, and I apologize for the snark. I mostly get amusement out of people’s lists of so-called “essentials.” I suppose my take-home message is that being prepared isn’t everything. But, in defense of all those lists, it is really fun to do the little extra things to get ready for baby! With Carter, I totally packed a hospital bag over a month in advance, and was fantasizing about just how to set up his bed and changing table and other accoutrements long before I was due!